ღI Miss Himღ

its been two weeks already i single. who knows what i have go through ? its hurt me a lot. the first day i still confused. its so suddenly so i dint sad THAT MUCH. the next day. i feel very empty. is SUPER DUPER HYPER empty. still go to work. but guess what ? its hurt me even more when i have to pretend i'm fine. when i cant stand anymore, i run go to another place and silently cried. i miss him. yeah, A LOT. i remember the second day i single, i cried none stop. can say whole day i cry. if not Cindy comfort me. i would be sad and emo WHOLE day. that day, that moment. i'll NEVER forget. the pain that i feel, would be forever stayed at my broken heart. the sweet moment you gave me before you go, i'll never forget. your hug, your smell, your hand, your everything. i would never forget.

its all because of me. because of my sensitivity, you've changed. i'm sorry to keep let you down. i'm sorry to keep doubt you. i'm sorry to keep ignored you. i'm sorry. :( its all my fault. why cant i just let you ? why cant i just understand ? why cant i just talk to you when you spend your GOLD time to me ? i wasted it. ALWAYS. i'm regret. i hate myself. now you're gone. forever it will be ? :( i scared. God is punishing me cause treat HIS son so bad. i hope theres a second change for me. i really hope. i wont be the old me. i promise :( one week no find me is better than FOREVER wont find me as his special someone. now all i get is regret. when i saw those sad story that related to you, i feel guilty. i'm not a good girlfriend. when i think back those memories that i always ignored you, i feel bad. you is there for me but i never appreciate. i never appreciate the time you accompany me. i always expect too much. i'm stupid. :(

the note you gave me will be my diary book forever. i read it again and again. tears drop again and again. how sweet you are when you say me that way. how sweet you are when you think i'm interesting. how sweet you are when you said i'm the one you dont mind to be with. those sweet words, makes me sad. i really hate myself not to cherish all the time. i hate it. regret and no one can help me. he's out there and i dont know he feel the same or not. i seriously want to know. i want know whether he sad or not. or at least miss me ? :( he dint find me today like how he find me last week. early in the morning he sms me and SHOCKED me a lot. 1 something he called me. and i smiled all the time. we talked like we STILL in a relationship. how could that be ? :( but today, he dint find me at all. maybe he thought without him, i really happy. well, if he dint find me tomorrow, i MIGHT find him. just to let him know, i NEVER will okay if he's not around. because i love him very much. so forever it will be. although it still confused me a lot, but i decided to wait him. only that way i could do right now. hope God is always here with me and him. hope God give me another chance to prove it to everyone that i've changed myself. to be a better friend and girlfriend.

x_.]..Kaonne..["'_